It’s been a few months since I brake up with my girlfriend and an inside war took aver me. And I wonder if there is any cure for that, if there is this magic potion where you drink it and you forget everything. I have tried a few “traditional” ways of forgetting but it seems that every time is coming back to me stronger and more effective than ever. Going out, partying, dating different girls, drinking and traveling. Did I miss something?!?
It is a tremendous hate inside me, a hate of myself, a hate that looks like doesn’t want to leave me.Also my imaginary mind, brings on and on frames of beautiful moments where everything was nice and we get along with each other. But I don’t want that.
I spoke to her. All the time, in my mind, in my sleep, on the phone i text her often on a Line account that I’ve been blocked by her so she doesn’t receive my messages. I feel like everything is k and normal as before, just that we don’t talk as much, I don’t hear her voice, I can’t feel her love, I can’t hear her sleeping or breathing on the phone.
Ahh, love, feelings and sentiments, what are those psychical events that are taking place inside my mind, my soul and hear? Hate, is what I see in the mirror, is what I feel around me and that surrounds me.
A good friend of mine called me and asked, “Everything alright my friend?”, what could I answer to this question? I got stuck, a few seconds later I said, “No my friend! Tell me what is right so I can tell you what is wrong!”
A mindless stupid endless war inside my head!